Ok tonight I just caught dark thought about something. And I need to vent it out before it's become worst. Because for now I just can't draw correctly with this in my mind. The worst would be the out come... because even if yelled it, no one will ear me.

Thanks whatever site to keeping some good artist invisible I'm really appreciate you keep people in the shadow. 😒

So here it comes what I have in mind. It's again this kind though of doubt about myself... If being a freelance artist still be the good choice for me ? I mean I've been said my arts are good. And I will like to believe that... but when no one see them... what can I think ? What can I do ?

Sometimes I just want to give up. I'm counting the years maybe I'm making a mistake to counting them and trying to keep it positive. But 6 years guys and the only progress I'm doing is how better I've become after each interaction for other artist with COMMISSIONS.

I have nothing against commissioners no not the fact of paying them. Just how painful it is to see something someone else do for you and the only thing you get is just a super image of something you ask. But nothing more.

People don't come see what you doing. And artist don't want to "lose them" or don't want to do that because if they do once they should do for everyone. I GET IT ! I KNOW THAT !

I understand this fact. But damn it's frustrating afterwards not getting almost no words because YOU ARE THE ONE WHO COMMANDS IT only the best can get the most. Yeah maybe I should stop it I like doing art, I want to make it my job. as a Freelance. 😔

I'll be honest sometime I doubt those who've decide to watch/follow me. I receive practically no interaction with them after that and all I want is that. And I don't ask to be the next millionaire artist. I see them being part of my "community".

But after that I don't see any of them again for days, weeks and months. How frustrating and painful it is for me when all I got is "Hey I like your stuff so I watch you" And after that no souls come.

I don't hate them. It's just it's sad and frustrating to having almost no interaction with them when you see them coming to see your doing they click on that button. But what should I do ? All I wish is just having fun with other artist doing collabs, being part of something from another artist.

I'm sick doing stuff alone. I'm annoyed to be alone enjoying what I'm doing. I'm sad to always feeling so lonely for so long and keep struggling for being a good artist. And most of all I'm tired to try, I'm maybe impatient, but I don't know if 6 years is really being impatient.

Anyway if anyone in this site read it and come to give some cheering words this is all I need. Thanks and I mean it. Because this very guy is really tired to try again. I will keep going. But I just don't know how Long I will still doing it.